As you can see the kids are enjoying the run up to Christmas. I think they both may pop before the big day.

As so many others have said, I feel at the moment very restricted as to what I can say here . I have been thinking of going elsewhere but not sure yet .

If I am not about I wish you all a very happy and peaceful Christmas and New Year.

Well it's half term here, so I am off for the week. Unfortunately Heather is ill so any plans of going out are out.

Right catch up time...
Matthew: He still has not been seen by the physio, I have been back in touch with them and was told the waiting list is very long. My problem with that is we have a follow up appointment for January by which time we were told we would see a big improvement. On Monday I went out and bought him a balancing board and mini stilts (well buckets with string on).
School is going well but his homework load is silly. There is so much.
Matthew has decided he would like to sell his bike as it's been in the shed for so long. He finds riding a bike so difficult, his hope is to sell it and put the money towards a Nintendo Wii, at only something silly like £179.

Heather: Apart from at the moment she is doing well. Each day becoming iincreasingly more independent. She seems to be really enjoying school. She has recently been bringing home letters to learn, the idea being once she knows them all, reading will be easier due to being able to sound out words. We still have tears of a day but not as many so I think she is slowly getting used to it.
Both of them are looking forward to Halloween. Bah Humbug - I don'tlike it.

Ian: He has been very busy at work, working all weekend and going in early but fingers crossed all is back to normal well for now at least. He is taking Thursday, Friday and Monday off so that will be nice to have some time together as a family.

Me: I am good. I have been going to Slimming World now for a while and have lost just over a stone, so not bad. I wish there was more I could do to help Mum and Dad out with the kids but other than them moving in with me, which couldn't happen as there is little enough room as it is, I don't know what to do . I go down most days, talk to them every day and to Katy of a night on MSN. They sleep over when possible, but I still feel I am not helping them enough. Next week Katy is going to start bereavement counseling, and I am going to take her.

Mum and Dad have been in touch with the solicitor again and he has now, with theie permission, passed the papers to a professor in cancer science for him to determine if Donna had received treatment what would her life expectancy have been. Reading all the papers and reports is saddening.

Well I think that's me all done. Take care.

Took this today, after the kids and I had been to the cinema to see Barnyard.

Matthew seemed to enjoy it, and Heather fretted about having sticky hands, due to the Maltesers she had just polished off !

Take care, and I'll be back soon.

Well all is back to our normal, school and work routine. Both Matthew and myself went back last week. Heather now has also started "big girl" school , this week only mornings. From Monday its all day, that will be strange as I only work part time and I am usually with Heather of an afternoon.

Last week we had a much welcomed appointment with the physio dept at Alder Hey for Matthew . Both Ian and myself have always had concerns about Matthews legs and general development. He finds it near impossible to ride a bike, he runs like a child with arthritis, and has a lot of leg pain especially after prolonged walking. There are other things too. We have been seen in the past by our G.P who has put it down to growing pains . I have taken him to the hospital myself as the pain was so server, at first it was thought he had Perth's disease but that was dismissed. The community physio dept have seen him to do an assessment for dyspraxia the result being he was given a pair of insole and we were told he was flat footed. So as you can imagine this felt like our last hope in some ways.

The lady we saw was fantastic. She talked to Matthew and listened. Talked to us, asked the right questions. Matthew was X-rayed and examined. After long talks the doctor decided Matthew will need extensive physio on his lower body to develop his muscles as this is what the main problem is thus resulting in poor co -ordination, difficulty with gross motor movement, poor handwriting . I felt so bad while she was explaining this to us. I think mainly as I feel as a Mum I have somehow failed him. He's had difficulty with so many things for so long and at age 8 its only just getting sorted. The hope in our minds now is that although the physio is going to be a long process, and mean a lot of commitment from Ian and myself to help Matthew but that it will help him, he will walk without looking like he's in pain. Lets hope anyway.

The people who read regularly will know that my sister Donna died over a year and a half ago due to massive cancer, mainly in her bowel but also lungs and kidneys. But it was only diagnosed by chance when she was rushed into hospital one evening with severe stomach pains, the hospital thinking it was an ectopic pregnancy. Scans were done the next morning and Donna was rushed to theatre with a ruptured bowel, during surgery we were told the prognosis was poor as the cancer had spread rapidly. We were devastated as cancer had not even entered our minds until then.

Two weeks later Donna died, leaving two children who now live with my Mum and Dad. As things settled in the months to come we all began to ask questions, why was the cancer not picked up earlier, why had no examinations ever been done. Mum decided she wanted answers and went to a solicitor to seek advice. He suggested on behalf of Donna's children,Mum take the hospital to court on grounds of neglect. Obviously I have missed bits out or this would go on and on . Well today mum rang me crying to let me know the solicitor had been in touch, the medical examiner had picked up from Donna's records that in 1993 Donna was diagnosed with endometriotis and a mass was found in her lower abdomen. But no treatment was offered or further tests or examinations. Donna was disabled and most doctors would not examine her, as it was "too awkward". Needless to say Mum will continue with the case, but today brought so many feeling and what ifs.