Where to start. ..
For those of you who have been reading SimeWorld recently, you will know about the problems between Matthews school and ourselves. Well things were sorted at the end of last week but with our agreement, school will now monitor Matthew's behavior until Easter then report back to us with a view to him being assessed for some form of ADHD.
I went to see Matthew's Headmistress before he began nursery, as I had concerns about his behavior. The health visitors were not that helpful - it was put down to him being bright. I just wanted school to be aware of my concerns before anything came to light. It may have been the wrong thing to do looking back - did I plant the first seed? We have always worked very close with school as we have had lots of meeting re Matthew's behavior.
Over the years there has always been something - many of the things are just normal for a child of his age, but sometimes we have our difficult weeks.
Matthew is so loving, funny, kind and very very sensitive, which is why I get so upset with school when he is punished for lashing out. Don't get me wrong - it's not right to hit another child, but he is looked at like some little monster when in fact it has happened because somebody has usually hurt or pushed him, and he has just lashed out without stopping to think first. We have talked to him so much about this that it got us wondering if there's something we're missing.
I said so long ago when I came home from work that Matthew reminded me of one of the children who had ADHD, but hes not hyper. We looked into it and there are so many of the charateristics that fit with Matthew, but equally there are many that don't. It's been hiding at the back of our minds for some time and we keep just brushing it off, but we mentioned it to school along with some of our obsevations. They agreed with some of what we said, plus they told us of other things that they have observed. At least they now are watching him more closely and they are aware that Matthew sometimes feels unduly punished, so hopefully his teacher will back off.
I don't know - am I just looking for things that aren't there? I think deep down I am scared in case something comes to light and then I know I will feel I have failed him as a Mum for not getting something sorted earlier. God knows I get so emotional when it comes to the kids.
All I know is that he's our son and we love him more than anything else in the world.
We will just have to wait and see.