Merry Christmas !

I finished work for Christmas on Friday, not that I did anything. Myself and a colleague offered to prepare the buffet for everybody else. "It won't be that hard" we thought, "it's only for 22 people". So off we went to Tesco with our money and shopped, we only managed to go £20.00 over budget. It was a lot of work but we had a good giggle whilst doing it and everybody enjoyed it.

I have still to complete my Christmas shopping so back into Liverpool sometime this week with the kids, that will be fun. Matthew is counting down the sleeps until Christmas, I think he's a little excited.

Ian and I were talking the other night, I am not sure how we got on to it but he asked me if there was anything I would really like to do that I haven't already done. Hmm...not sure. I have been very lucky in that I have done a lot of my things that would be on a "to do before you die" list already, like going up in a hot air balloon, free fall parachute jump (never again), flown a helicopter and flown a light aircraft. Not forgetting getting rather merry in a chauffeur driven stretch limo. So as to what I would do that I haven't already - I don't know.

We had a little giggle whilst putting the question and answer post up. Ian always takes the Mickey out of me for being so naive and easily embarrassed or shocked. But what the hell I will try my best to answer as honestly as I can. A friend reads my site quite often I am only to glad that they don't comment I am only to glad it doesn't bare thinking what they would ask.

Today I noticed that I have had nearly 1000 visits since I started Paper Doll. I don't know why but that surprises me. So watch this space and I will let you know when it reaches 1000 :-)

Question Time

First, recommend to me:

A.) A Movie
B.) A Book
C.) A song, CD , Musician..etc.

Next: Ask me three questions...anything you want..anything, go ahead..... just ask away!

(Stolen from Evie !)

I have been off work the past few days with the most horrendous back pain. I have some very strong pain killers from the doc which seem to be helping. We live very close to school but last night it was so bad I drove to school to collect Matthew.

Matthew is having a Christmas party next week and we have to make a hat so any quick, easy, good ideas are most welcome. He is a little nervous about the nativity tomorrow bless him. He asked us last night not to wave to him as his teacher told them all if they wave back they will be in big trouble (miserable cow).

I still have so many presents to buy and I haven't got a clue what to get Ian. I always end up getting some stupid gadgety thing and I don't want to this year.
We had a fun weekend with Matthew on Saturday afternoon he wrote a letter to Santa. When he finished he asked me what we should do with it, before I could answer he decided that Santa would take it during the night. So off to bed, the letter in a very bright red envelope and shiny Christmas stickers was given a very prominent place on his shelves.

Later that night the letter was removed by myself and put away to go in his memory box. Off to bed we go. We were woken at 6.30 by Matthew standing over me arm outstretched saying "Look mum. Look it came out". I couldn't even open my eyes let alone speak. I garbled something at him then it became apparent that he was so excited because his letter had gone and his first tooth had fallen out. So we had a visit from Santa on Saturday night then the tooth fairy on Sunday.

Today a friend said jokingly that I had a responsibility to you the readers to post. It just got me thinking, and I think that's part of the reason why I don't post so much, and why I wanted to end the blog. Today I VERY nearly did end it, because I feel I have to think about what I say and it gets hard.
So thank you very much friend for making me stop and think. I came to the conclusion that yes some my posts may be boring, and yes to some I may always go on about my hubby and kids but so what, it's my party and...oh sorry where was I...it's my blog and I will write what I want, when I want, even if it is only once a month.
So for the time being I am staying and I will post when I get the chance.

Just a very quick update,
I am still about, I just don't seem to get the time to post that much. I might try to make time later. Matthew has been picked to be a Shepard in the school nativity:)

Well it's been a while since I was last here. I just couldn't be bothered so I didn't. Firstly as those of you who go to Ian's site will have seen, can we say a big hello to an old friend. And to think she very nearly gave up blogging.
On bonfire night Ian had bought fireworks - not big things, just small ones for the garden. Whilst we waited for him to come home from work I opened the garden door so that the kids could see the fireworks, get them in the mood. It didn't quite go to plan. Matthew hated them, I felt so sorry for him with every flash and bang he shook, and cried. He said he was sorry that Dad had wasted his money on the fireworks. When Ian got home and had a talk to him we managed to get him in the garden albeit very short lived. Matthew, Heather and myself watched our fireworks sitting on Matthews bed cuddled up to each other.

Later on Matthew and Ian did manage to do some sparklers and here are some special-effect photos of Matthew...


Work has been pretty quiet although we have got a lot of staff off. We're starting all the Christmas things at the moment. I love this time of year in school.
Tomorrow is Matthews first day in after-school club, and he is doing gardening and cookery - hopefully not at the same time !
It had to happen sooner or later and on Saturday Ian and myself are venturing out to get birthday presents for Matthew, and Christmas presents for both of them. Wish us luck !
I have had to give the gym a miss tonight as my back is soooooooooo sore. Hopfully it wont last too long.

Well I have just come home after being the gym and I am so tired, but I enjoyed it. I think I like it so much because its my time. I'm not known as Matthew or Heather's mum or Ian's wife I'm just me and I like it. Don't get me wrong I love being all of them things more than anything in the world but it is nice to have 'me' time.
Halloween was great, the kids loved getting dressed up and going to see their grandparents. Matthew was particularly pleased with himself as he managed to trick my Mum. He knocked on her front door wearing a mask, whilst I waited at the end of the drive and when she opened it he gave his best trick or treat ever. Mum pleasantly asked 'How many of you are there' - I don't think Matthew knew what to do. He just answered 'One', and Mum trotted off and came back with a bag of sweets. Matthew could not contain himself much longer and took of his mask. It still took Mum a couple of seconds to realize it was him. That was the highlight of his night.
Matthews friend is coming for tea tomorrow - yipee. They're both as loud and hyper as each other, so we will have a fun night.
Most years since I have been with Ian he has bought fireworks but since we have had the kids he has a legitimate excuse. This year is no exception but to be fair there not as big as usual. Matthew likes the idea of fireworks but he's not too sure of them in practice.
Today in work we had a Gospel choir in. I was so looking forward to it. So after break we got all the children ready and went down to the hall, joined in the warm up session just about to get to the good stuff when one of the kids gets a nose bleed and I took her out to sort it. Eventually about to go back in when S (the child I work with) was coming out crying. It was too loud for her so I never got to see them :{

The Lake District was lovely. As Matthew would say..."calm, just calm". Our hotel had its own pool, sauna and gym. Matthew kept calling the sauna a sonar. We made good use of it all - the spa pool was heaven and Heather loved it to. The views from our room were just breathtaking.
I dont usually put pics on my blog but I have asked Ian to put this one of Matthew on as I think it is just fab. I love it when the leaves have fallen and there all golden. When we were in Bowness Ian was showing Matthew the swans and how friendly they were, he eventually got Matthew to feed them by putting his hand flat so they could just peck the food out. But oh no, the swan snapped at Matthews hand and he was not happy. He screamed as he pulled his hand away shouting "it bit me". He was so upset. Actually, I think he was more shocked than hurt.

I have been going the gym and I am enjoying it. Each time I go I am doing a little bit more. Still not going 3 times per week as recommended, but I am getting there slowly !

Matthew and Heather have a fancy dress party tomorrow, and Heather is looking forward to "a-scare"-ing people ! Matthew is going as a skeleton, and Heather as a witch.

WELL DONE MATTHEW

If you're not sure what I am on about go and have a look at SimeWorld. We are so proud of him. Today when I took Matthew to breakfast club, he showed his certificate and picture to his teacher, then explained it all to her. His teacher has said she will write all the information down for him then he can go around the rest of the school to show everybody. His little face had such a big smile on it. I just want to keep giving him really big hugs.

On other matters.....O.M.G. As I have said before, Heather is potty training at the moment. 'So wha't you may think. Well whilst playing with her in the living room (may I add nappyless) she looked up very concerned and said "its wet, mummy its wet". I go over to her then quickly realize the wet she was talking about was actually poo. Trying desperately not to freak, I very calmly picked her up and sat her on the potty so I could clean up the mess. Then Ian noticed it was on her sock and vest. Oh the joys of parenthood.

Update on Matthew.
He did indeed get to go around all of the school and to the headmistress. When I picked him up he came over to me and stood there with his book bag in one hand lunchbox in the other swimming bag around his neck desperately trying to pull open his coat to show me all of his SEVEN stickers on his jumper. As he had gone around different classes he was given stickers and/or sweets, and the junior classes gave him around of applause. He was so proud and to top it all he has been chosen to play the priest in a class play about being baptised. I love being a Mum.

It seems like such a long time since I last posted, not much has happened. I have noticed lately that Matthew is reading books at an alarming rate so the other night I asked him if he could tell me about the book he had just finished, not expecting him to be able to give a very detailed account. To my surprise he did, and very detailed at that. It's not a problem - far from it - it just amuses me that he will often be found with his head stuck in a book. Apparently as a child Ian was always reading, oh how history repeats itself. We have Matthews parents evening coming up next week, I can't wait. I love finding out about what he gets up to in school. Not just his work but him and his personality. I often find children so different in school than when with their parents - it should be fun.
Heather is doing fine and has been given a new name of Churchill by her grandad. Every time he asks her a question her reply is "Oh yes ". Its so funny (well it is to me). The tantrums are coming on nicely and she's perfected the throw herself on the floor very well. Tonight whilst sitting with her when she was on the potty (they don't mention these bits in the book do they) she stood up very proudly and almost put her head in the potty "look mummy a puddle".
Ians not been too well lately so have been being the dutiful wife and looking after him. Glad to say he's well now and back to his usual self.
Me.....well last Sunday I joined a gym. I had my induction and my first session whilst I was there. I was so scared going in. I think it was just the initial getting past all the super thin barbies in their shiny sports gear. But I went in and enjoyed it - is that sick? Unfortunately with Ian being sick I have not had much chance to go this week, the instructor whom I had my induction with said for it to be of any benefit to me I would have to go about 3 times a week at least. Easier said than done with 2 little angels to sort each night.

Finally, a big Happy 3rd Birthday to SimeWorld for Sunday !

R.I.P. KEN BIGLEY

I actually felt quite emotional when I heard earlier today there was a possibility that Ken may have been killed, and sadly it has just been confirmed. I don't know if its because its so close to home, or the fact that it has been so closely followed in the local press.
Whatever the reason, my heart goes out to his family.

On Monday morning Matthew was watching TV before we went to school, whilst I was getting washed and dressed. As I came out off the bathroom he came running upstairs crying. Once I had calmed him down he told me "its just not fair mum, the poor children should have clean water to drink and not have to worry if they will die." I'm sorry, what, where has this come from? He is 6 years old - a child he should not be burdened with such worries. It became apparent that it came from an advert on a child's TV channel. I know there may be some of you reading this, thinking 'well he was watching it unsupervised', but you cant be with them all of the time. Matthew then went on to say"If it makes any difference he will sell his action men and give the money to the poor children". It has really got to him. I personally think it is awful that such adverts are allowed on children's channels.
Its three days on now and Matthew still gets very tearful if he thinks about the advert. Ian and I have had a long talk to him and have decided to look into some sort of donation.
I know we cant wrap them up in cotton wool but there are some things that I believe should be shielded from them.

MY MUMMY WAS BEAUTIFUL

On Sunday we all went into Liverpool City centre, clothes shopping. We had the usual look around kids clothes shops, and ended up getting a coat for Heather in the last place we looked. Whilst walking around, Ian and myself were talking and Matthew was very happily running in front of us, and Heather was in the buggy. You can imagine my surprise when I looked up and saw a poster of six very naked ladies breasts. "What's that all about" I asked Ian. "Who knows". We walked some more, we see more breasts. I was just waiting for some comment from Matthew - luckily he didn't notice. Ian always jokes that I am to0 naive - innocent even. I say it's due to being taught by nuns and very strict ones at that. Also it was a all girls school. Well I'm sorry, but I was shocked - it's not the type of thing you expect to see whilst shopping. As we walked on Ian kept pointing them out to me, then there it was O.M.G I actually blushed,how sad is that? The poster had changed now. Not a bare breast - now a very naked crotch. O.M.G
The posters are in fact Photographs by Yoko Ono of a woman's breast and crotch and are adorning public buildings across Liverpool.
The project, My Mummy Was Beautiful 2004, is one of 40 new works by 40 artists commissioned for the Liverpool Biennial International exhibition.
Ono said: "This work was initially about my mother. But when I decided to do it in Liverpool, suddenly I remembered how John loved his mother, and it choked me up. So this one in Liverpool will be my tribute to John.
"I think it will look very beautiful spread over this highly energised, beautiful city, the one John loved so much, and the one I've grown to love."
Lewis Biggs, director of the third Liverpool Biennial, said: "Naturally I hope that it offends nobody because there is no reason why it should offend anybody. The photographs we are being given are of a body that is very beautiful. So why should there be a problem?"
I'm sorry but it offended my. Fine its art and if Yoko Ono wants Liverpool to be the home of her work great but put it on display in a closed exhibition or museum.

One year ago today it all began, my first ever post. I had watched Ian doing his posts and always read SimeWorld but never really been that interested. It seemed quite weird to be honest, somebody being able to read and look at your personal thoughts and pictures. I think it all began as a bit of a laugh with Ian - I kept saying I was going to do my own site but never did anything about it. I finally did but not on a regular basis.

A little look back at my year...

• September 20th first post. I think after this in my mind I had done what I set out to do and pretty much left the site alone until....
• January 5th came post number two - not much happened of any interest.
• I posted in Feb then not until April when I was off work for a while and decided I liked the idea of having somewhere to moan and just generally write what I wanted.
• In May I entered Race for Life and felt quite pleased with my self for doing so. Up until now I had never had any comments on my site. I liked this as what I wrote in my mind was just for me it never really seemed real. That all changed when Billy introduced me to the blogging public on his site. The first commenter on my site was Divvie Man swiftly followed by Billy then lots more (Daisy,Wendy,Pob,PB Curtis,H,Buffy and Izzy). May was also was the fist time Social Misfit commented and I began reading her site quite regularly.
• June was a very busy month , I found out Social misfit has a thing for goats:) My little angel Heather turned two, Ian bought me a brand new car (which I love), Billy put two and two together and came up with SimeWorld and Paper Doll, which was never a secret I just didn't want people to come to my site of the back of SimeWorld. I went back to work after a long break, Matthews pet goldfish that he'd had for about four years died and Heather got a big girl bed. Told you June was busy.
• July I did the Race for Life at Aintree Racecourse and because I was ill doing it I ended up in bed for two days quite ill afterwards. My sister got married, I finished work for the summer, I got bored with Paper Doll and kept changing the colours.
• August We went on holiday and had a great time, Matthew bought an ant farm. Not much else.
• September, well not much has happened . It does seem very strange that I have been doing this for a year. I have talked to some very nice people over the last year and will no doubt find some more new sites to visit and keep me amused.

Here's to the next 12 months !

I'm sure those of you with little ones in the house will know the Fimbles. Well the other day whilst watching it with Heather it suddenly dawned on me. Part way through, one of them gets a tinkling in its fingers, then its nose twitches, then its top knot twitches. I sat and watched then decided they have a calcium deficiency. When my calcium level drops my nose and fingers begin to twitch.
Am I, Paper Doll, a Fimble too?

I seem to get less and less time to write a post these days. Not that there has been anything interesting to write about that is. I am off work today I have a hospital appointment and as I only work mornings its not worth going in. Well, what's happened this week.....
Matthew went back to school and so far is enjoying it - his new teacher is also the deputy head. When children are in trouble she is the one you are sent to.
I went back to work and I think this has got to be one of the nicest weeks in work I have had since I can remember, I asked about James yesterday and he is doing fine so far but its still early days. If he continues with his outbursts in the new school he will be sent home immediately, if it still continues he will be sent to a behavior unit (I hope for his sake it doesn't come to that).
Heather is fine, her usual bouncy self. Not so long ago I told you Heather was worrying me with her lack of eating well now its gone the other way. I think somebody has told her food is good.
On Wednesday when I went to pick Matthew up from school he came out without his glasses on looking really down. I gave him a cuddle and asked what was wrong, he had been bumped into by another child and fell to the floor the glass came out of the frame and broke and the frame snapped cutting Matthews eyebrow on its way. His eye looks awful he was very lucky it could have been lots worse.
Don't think much is happening this weekend, just remembered I am taking Matthew to a bowling party tomorrow morning 10.45 on a Saturday I ask you. 25 little darlings (what fun). Well I think that's about it not very interesting I admit. Have a good weekend and I am sure Ian will no doubt have some silly links to keep you entertained.

Take care :)

Well I went back to work on Thursday and it wasn't as bad as I was expecting it to be. In fact it was pretty boring, mostly sorting out timetables on Thursday and on Friday I went to introduce myself to my new schools and the children I will be supporting. One of the girls is 7 and profoundly deaf, and was fitted with a cochlear implant 4 years ago - she seems a little love. The other is also profoundly deaf in a mainstream school and, how can I put this, is not the brightest button in the jar, but she is very nice. It is going to be so strange being in mainstream as it has been nearly 5 years I think since I last worked in one.
Normality resumes on Monday as Matthew goes back to school and Heather goes back to my Sis. I will really miss not being with them both all day. I hate going back after being with them for so long. I think Matthew is looking forward to going back but its hard to tell with him.
God forgive me I love my children more than anything on earth and would do anything for them but today Matthew has been one little pain.
It has been so long since I have been to anybody's sites so I have some catching up to do HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY to Lou Lou - hope you had a good one.
Well I am going to watch 13 going on 30. Have a good weekend - what's left of it.

Well this week is back to work week :(
Its been great being off with the kids, the summer has once again gone so quickly. As I am working with new children and different schools I am not as yet familiar with either of them. I am not even sure when they are back in school, so I will have to phone and check. At the end of term 3 of our team left, one of them being a very close friend - it is going to be so strange not seeing her.
I go back on Thursday and Matthew next Monday so Ian is going to try and get the mornings off - if not then it's time to be nice to my big sis. We ordered some new furniture for Heathers bedroom last week and Ian put them together over the weekend. He's done a good job (Ian and D.I.Y don't usually mix well) Matthew wanted to help Ian and at first we said yes, but after thinking about it it was best Ian was left on his own. Now that they are done I can sort out her room and give us some much needed space. Our house is a mess at the moment, and we plan to go through it room by room sorting it out. Tomorrow I am going to the charity shop with lots of outgrown children's clothes and baby products that are cluttering up the place.

I never usually do these things but I did and here is my answer. Thankyou Social Misfit.


You are Proffesor X!
You are highly capable of any task and you care
deeply for the ones surrounded by you. Enough
to risk your life for them!

Which of the X-men do you resemble most?
brought to you by

At 2am Matthew woke and I got up to him. After sorting him some time later I go back to bed. It took me so long to get back to sleep and what seemed like 5 mins later Heather woke crying for me, so I got up again, gave her a cuddle , put her back to bed then went back to bed myself. Not long after she woke again I am so used to her crys that I knew she would not go back to sleep so I came downstairs with her. We had a cuddle but Heather thought playing was more fun. I thought going asleep was so I put her in her pram (that I had to go out to the car to get) and gave her a drink. I fell asleep - not sure if she did but when I woke up she had the biggest smile on her face. "Hello Mummy"- how can you resist that? Little monster.

THERE HERE
The ants arrived this morning. I must admit to not being as grossed out as I thought I would be by them. Don't get me wrong I still don't like them. They await Ian as he is doing the ant farm with Matthew.
Heather has not been eating much lately, It has started to worry me a lot its gone on for about three weeks or so. I am not sure if its an age thing or she is sick, well this morning she was sick. I was going to take her the docs anyway just to get her checked over now I had another reason. I pretty much knew what they would say but they were very good giving her a good check over. Its possibly a viral infection I also have to get a water sample from her just to rule out a water infection that's going to be fun.

Well yesterday was just divine. It started something like this.

7'ish got up, dressed Heather then went for a shower - which is unusual as normally it's after the kids are in bed.

8.30 went and had breakfast sorted a few things, left the house at 9.30 to head into Liverpool. Ian had booked for me to have a half hour session in a vibro sauna and a hour full body massage. It was heaven, pure heaven. When I arrived I was shown the vibro sauna. It's a bit like a coffin that your head sticks out of. Once you're enclosed soft music plays whilst you lie on a vibrating bed and sweat to death, with a gentle face fan wafting aromatherapy oils over your face. It got way too hot but you can adjust all the control from inside. Saying all that it was lovely. When that had finished I had a shower then my massage. I have had lots of massages but this was one of the best yet. I left there about 12.30 then went shopping for clothes on my own. I had some lunch a walk around then home. It was wonderful.

At home my little darlings were their usual selves. We had a play, a cup of tea then another shower, as my hair was full of oil. I got changed then at 6.15 Ian and myself went for a meal and to the cinema to see I-Robot (I fell asleep). I had the best day ever so a very big thank you to my wonderful husband Ian. I love you.

Matthew had some money left from our holidays, he saves all year for our holidays never gets anything then when we come home I take him to Toys R Us. So off we went to Toys R Us looked and looked at everything. I was looking at some books with Heather and Matthew was looking in his fave bit discovery.
"Mum"
"Yes"
"I know you will say no but you always say I should ask so, can I have this with my money"
"Hang on I will look now"
I turn to see him holding an ant farm. Yes ant farm. I hate ants, he has wanted one for a few years but I always say no. But this time I said yes. We have sent for the ants and they should be hear any day now. I will keep you posted when they come.
On a nicer note my darling hubby bought me a bottle of my fave perfume yesterday and has also booked me a session in a vibro sauna plus a full body massage tomorrow. I am so looking forward to it.

On holiday Ian and myself said we are going to change a lot in our lives I think being with each other all day every day made us see how little time we have for each other and our selves. This poem sums it up for me.


SLOW DANCE
Have you ever watched kids On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
Do you run through each day On the fly?
When you ask "How are you?"
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say "Hi"?
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day, It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

The holiday was great. It was so nice to spend time as a family, as it's not often we're all together out of the house.
We travelled to Bristol on the Friday to stay over night, then carry on the journey on Saturday morning. Matthew was fine with the long sit in the car and Heather mostly slept. So Friday night was a long one. In Bristol we went to "The Mall" shops, shops, and more shops. Matthew and Ian found the gadget shop so were quite happy. Ian wanted to go back on the way home.
Ian bought Matthew some CD book sets for the car - they were Horrid Henry. If you have never read any of them they are so funny - I think me and Ian liked them more than Matthew.
Saturday morning feeling like death we had breakfast then set off.
The week was great, lovely weather and the food was OK. Matthew and Ian both tried bungee trampolines. Heather had a tea party with Tessie bear and Bumpy dog.
It was so nice to be out at night, going for a walk hearing the sea splashing on the rocks and watching the sun go down. It's sad how quickly you get back in to your normal routine.

I,m back. I will try and write a post later tonight if Heather goes to sleep. Holiday was excellent.

Not much has happened lately.
Went to Gullivers World on Saturday with Ian and the kids we had a good day except for the wasps. After 5 goes on the Pirate ship I had to say no to Matthew.
Were off to Blackpool today, mainly to the tower but if the weather holds out also to the beach for a play.
Heather is getting there with the sleep thing but as we are off on holiday on Friday all our hard work has meant nothing as her routine will be totally different, (our hope is she will be so tired from all the activities she will just flop into bed) .
I don't think I will be posting again until we come home so take care and see you soon. :)

I AM SOOOOOOOO TIRED!
Heather is not sleeping too well again at the moment and it is really beginning to get me down. Last night was the worst for a long time after trying the usual go in,  comfort,  put her back in bed and leave routine for god knows how many times we gave in and put her in her pram in the living room with us at 10p.m. Neither of us had eaten yet. The little angel finally fell asleep around 12ish.
To a point I can ignore the crying, its when she screams to the point of hysteria that gets to me. I have worked with children for the last 16 years but when it is your own it is sooooooo different. They don't tell you all this in the baby manual.
All I can say is its a good job we love her so much.

Well, on Friday I said goodbye to the class but mainly to 'J'. I have been working with him for the last 5-6 years, and we have been through a lot  with each other. I would like to think we have parted on good terms with each other. I don't hold any grudges for past incidents - if I did I would probably never want to work with children again. I have found the last year especially hard  and I think J has too. I asked if I could not work with him in September and I thought I would be elated at saying goodbye to him, but when it came to it we were both quite upset. I was asked into assembly where I was presented with a beautiful flower arrangement. I also got chocs and a bottle of Chloe. From September I will be working in mainstream schools with two little girls both severely deaf, one of whom has recently been fitted with a cochlear implant. I am looking forward to it.
So, six weeks off with my two little angels. We have not got anything planned as yet but we will probably go for lots of days out.

Ian didnt like the last colour so I changed it to this.
I won a competition, it is two tickets to see Shrek 2 and a PC game of Shrek 2. Not bad for answering a question.

My back is so sore - no jokes please. I often get lower back pain, but it has been fine for a long time. I was getting Matthew out of the shower this morning and as I was rushing I lifted him out. Then later on I bent over to put something down and an almighty pain shot across the bottom of my back. Ian had to help me get up. I still had to get a shower and go to my big sisters wedding where I was maid of honour. I have been in a lot of pain since and had to come home from the wedding. My loving hubby has been to Asda for me and bought some heat pads which are rubbish but its not his fault !

Well all is back to normal. I finally feel human again. Matthew is off school today, he has been up during the night being sick (poor thing - I hate seeing him being sick).
Not long to go until the end of term, only 5 days left. I went out to Gullivers World yesterday with school. It was a good day until myself and one of the teachers had to escort one of the children back to school. Not a pleasant drive.
My car got sold today. It feels strange that I wont see it again. My sister is getting married on Saturday and I am maid of honor. She has not got much cash so the reception is going to be held at my mums. 'So what' you may think, but I am not one for family get togethers at the best of times, never mind when there won't be enough room to swing a cat.
I have recently let Matthew go out to play in the close, I can see him from the window. There is one little girl two years younger than him who keeps hitting him. He comes and tells me, I tell him to tell her parents which he does but her father has now twice told Matthew firstly that he doesn't care and Matthew should go away, and yesterday said to him "Matthew F--- off". I was livid when Matthew told me. Not sure how to play this one as I don't think I would get a friendly greeting if I approached the parents.

I am pleased to present the Race for Life gallery, courtesy of Ian.

Well as Ian said last night I went to bed about 5.30 and woke up around 8. I felt awful and still do. I have taken the day off work. I felt rough yesterday morning but as the race is only on for one day and I was really looking forward to it, and I still did it. Looking back it was possibly a bad thing to do, but at least I did it and raised some money.
So - where to start. We had to be at the course an hour before the race so 10 o'clock, the race was late starting due to a problem with the car parks, there were over 3,800 women racing.
I met up with Laura my niece and just waited. Matthew was so bored as there was a lot of waiting. Finally we had our warm up then we were asked to go to the starting points. It took us at least 15-20 mins to get to the start, as we waited people were going on stage and saying why they were doing the race. One woman really got to me and made me glad I had made the effort - her daughter had died from cancer 3 months ago and the woman was running the race in memory of her. As I went around the course I started looking at all the pink posters on peoples backs (you put them on your back and either wrote who you were running in memory of or what your reason for doing it was) it hit home to me how many people cancer has affected. I am glad I was a part of it and will be doing it again next year.
I crossed the finish line in 1 hour 2 minutes. I am very pleased with this as I have never done anything like this before. Ian is going to help me put some photos up - watch this space !

I did it. 1 hour 2 mins, not bad. More later.

UPDATE : Paper Doll has retired to bed, as she is not very well. She was a little under the weather this morning, and I think the Race for Life has taken all her energy. Hopefully she will be back on here tomorrow with a more detailed account of her successful day, and possibly even a gallery.
In the meantime, why not check out SimeWorld - it's got links, galleries, and everything ;-)

Me and my bloody big mouth. Since I said Heather loves her bed she has not slept properly since.
Its race day on Sunday for those of you that don't know I am doing the Race For Life in aid of cancer research. I am looking forward to it I think the atmosphere will be great lets just hope the rain stays away. Matthew thought the fences would be there and wondered how we would all get over them.
Not much has happened, thank you for my birthday wishes I got lots of very nice gifts from Ian and the children. Lots of flowers and smelly sets from friends and family.
Work is mad sorting out the end of year leavers assembly, which I am not sure if I will even be there for as I am supposed to be on a course,we will see.
Have a good week end.

Feeling rather down at the moment:(
Heather has for the past three nights not been sleeping. First night it was about 10 when she finally went to sleep, last night it was 11'ish, and tonight well she went to bed at 7.20 stayed asleep for half an hour or so and woke up crying. I went and gave her a cuddle, and after a while put her back to bed awake. She began to cry before her head touched the bed but I still put her down, said goodnight, and left the room. I have been in and out of her room for the past hour and a half. She is at the moment quiet - I think asleep. It is so draining listening to the sobs and going in and out. Poor Matthew can't sleep as his room is next to Heathers.
I think its funny that if another mum asks me what they should do with there child/baby I put my work head on and usually have some help or advice but when its your own children it's not so easy.
It's my birthday tomorrow (I am 30 something). I have bought lots of cakes for both the staffroom and the class. What a strange thing to do, where did it start? Is it just a school thing or does it happen elsewhere?

Well, touch wood and all that - Heather has really taken to her bed and loves it. She looks so small in the bed but I remember saying the same thing about Matthew.

Today is our 9th wedding anniversary. It has gone so quickly and has been the best part of my life. I remember when we got married people said we were too young, we were 25, but we had been with each other since we were 16. I don't regret one day of being with Ian. Thank you for 9 wonderful years and 2 wonderful children. I love you always and forever.

My little baby is sleeping in her first bed tonight. The bed arrived today and I was too impatient to wait until the weekend for Ian to do it, so I put it together myself. It seems like a big step - our baby has gone and a very cheeky little girl has replaced her. We had an awful time getting Matthew in a bed and spent a few very unpleasant months trying to cope with knowing that each night he would not go to sleep. We even turned to our health visitor for help, but she was hopeless. After months of trying lots of different things it just happened one night - he went to sleep and he has been wonderful ever since, so as you can imagine we are a little apprehensive tonight although I have to say she has been up once and had a play with her toys. Ian sorted her out and she is now fast asleep.

I really think there should be compulsory parenting classes when you become pregnant (I know this would never happen but I can think about it in my ideal world). Somebody should let you know how hard it is going to be. Don't get me wrong, I love my children more than anything but sometimes its hard.

How could I forget to tell you, my new toy, my pride and joy, yes my car - well some little monster shall we say has scratched it. There are always children playing outside and I sometimes very politely ask them to move and they do. Well the other night I went to put something in the bin when I noticed a big mark on the front passenger door. When I cleaned it I was so pissed off to realise it was a scratch. Coincidence or not the children had just been playing outside. As I didn't see them I cant do anything about it. But I will now be the nasty lady who chases them away if they even come on the drive :)

Well I survived my first week back at work. It wasn't that bad after all.
Matthew was indeed not happy about his fish and would like some new ones, Hmm...still thinking about that.
Most people who read this also read Ian's site as well (SimeWorld) and will know about somebody using pictures of Matthew on their site without our permission. It is not the first time this has happened. I tend to agree with Ian on this one and am absolutely furious. Ian is looking into what can be done.

My two nephews made their Holy Communions today and had a party afterwards in my Mum's house. We had to be in church at 10 a.m then back to Mums. The invites to non-family was for 1 p.m. By the time quests arrived I had enough. I may just be a miserable sod but I don't like family get togethers when there is drink and children. It just doesn't mix, especially as my family like a drink, shall we say. I couldn't wait to get out of there. Matthew ended up with a bump to his eye and a nose bleed which made him quite fed up and wanted to go home - Hooray! We had an excuse, the moment was seized, and out we got. Only to remember the whole thing is going to be repeated for my sisters wedding.

Happy Fathers day to all you Daddies for tomorrow. I am sure there will be lots of ties and socks about.

What a day ! One of the kids in class decided today would be 'Hate Teachers Day' and has therefore spent the morning doing his best to get the rest of the children on side, which isn't that hard. After refusing to work and lots of chances he was very reluctantly taken to the chill out room.
Maybe a little late as we only have five weeks left but I am finally going on a restraining course. It is much needed and possibly too little too late but there you go.
I found out today a child who I used to work with is in hospital very ill with a brain tumor we told the class today they seemed fine with it, asking lots of questions.

Matthews goldfish died last night - he has had it for about 4 years. He doesn't know yet, but I will tell him when he comes home. Also as if that wasn't bad enough, his new frosty mug is broken. He wont be a happy bunny :-(

Well I survived my first day back with the children. Only a few asked why I had been off for so long - I'm not even sure if the others noticed. I don't know if I have mentioned before but I work with deaf children who also have additional problems, either behaviour or learning. At the moment its severe behaviour problems. There are only 7 children in my class but they are hard work.
It was nice to see my friends and even the head came to see me and had a talk - that doesn't happen that often.
After school today my son is going to his friends for tea so I now feel obliged to have his friend for tea sometime. It was the first day back at breakfast club for him today as I have been off I have been taking him to school myself. I don't like him going to breakfast club but I don't have a choice. He loves it.

Well now, where to start. For those of you who didn't read Billys site yesterday I will fill you in. I have never hidden the fact that I am married with two kids, where I live so on. But yesterday little mister detective Billy put two and two together and came up with me and SimeWorld. "So what" you may think. Well, Ian from SimeWorld is my hubby.
I began this blog firstly as a laugh with Ian. I kept saying I would do one, then one day I did. I also wanted to do it on my own as it would be only too easy to ask Ian for help. There have been a few things I have needed his help with but I want to try on my own. It has never been intentional but we keep our sites separate - we are two very different people and two very very different sites.
I think this is the most I have ever written but my little angel needs to be woken from her sleep so I think that will do for now.

Its been along time since I posted so I thought I would. Today is the last day of half term so back to some normality on Monday.
I have been off work for nearly two months and I am going back on Monday. I am feeling quite anxious about it. I cant say I have missed any of my colleagues or any of the children that much. I just want to get back to a normal routine although it has been wonderful being at home with the children.
How can I forget to mention that my WONDERFUL hubby bought me a brand new car so I have been doing lots of visiting so I could show it off. Thank you hubby. My eldest said he cant see why I want to show it of or why I am so bothered about it after all its only a car. Its lovely to drive and as my old tank didn't have power steering it is so easy to park.
My little angel had her birthday, lots of fun and mess was had. Time goes so fast.

It's half term for two weeks so I won't get much time to post. I will be going out a lot and doing lots of visiting. I took the kids to our local farm today. My son was as usual very aware of the animals and took a lot of persuasion to go near any of them. Whereas my very nearly 2 year old daughter wanted to touch anything and everything. Before I could stop her she decided to put her hand into the chickens to say hello, they said hello back (much to her horror) when one pecked her hand.
The animals were very good and moo'ed, oink'ed or baa'ed right on cue when we got to them. We had a very enjoyable morning and we may go back on Sunday to milk the goats and make ice cream.

Billy got me thinking today about things I have been lucky enough to do. Here are some of them.
Tandem freefall parachute jump
It was for charity many years ago, and I was so frightened. I think being so scared spoilt the experience for me. Before we went out my instructor asked me to watch some of the lads doing solo jumps. God I wish I hadn't. I don't know what I really expected but they very quickly disappeared head first. Am I glad I did it? Yes. Would I do it again? No.

Flown a light aircraft
This was very strange as I have never been in an airplane. There are so many different buttons. I really enjoyed this, I kept banking too much the controls are very sensitive. I would definitely do this again. If it was not so expensive I would possible consider taking more lessons.

Flown a helicopter
How hard ? This was really hard to get the hang of. I could turn around fine but going straight and hovering were very difficult. I would like to have another go.

Had a flight in a hot air balloon
So frustrating. I had to keep phoning in advance to check if it was going to happen or not as it is very weather dependent. On one occasion we actually drove all the way to the site waited around they done some wind tests then the ride got cancelled. When I actually got in the balloon I was surprised how big and noisy it was. We landed in some ladies garden, which was fun.

There are other more normal things I have done like getting married which was wonderful and I could not ask for a better hubby. Having my two children who I would not be without.
I have never learnt to swim, that is something to work on.
Is there something you have done that you will always remember?
Is there something you have always wanted to do? If so - do it. It's never to late.

Not very long or interesting today. My little man is off school. He's not feeling too good.

In July I will be doing the Race For Life for Cancer Research. I am not the fittest of people to say the least, so I thought I had better do some training. Tomorrow night I am possibly going to a running club, and I will be in the beginners group. I am in some sick way looking forward to it, and another part of me thinks what on earth am I doing.
My aim if all goes well is to carry on running and next year do the Liverpool women's 10k race.

On Sundays I do my good deed for the week and help in church doing the children's liturgy. I take a group of little monsters out of the main mass and do church related activities with them. So I sat all week and thought of what I could do, we have to follow the gospel for the week so that we do the same readings but more child friendly. Got my ideas together - read what I was going to say - all set.
Sunday came, and my darling nephew said he did not want to come to church. I gave him two options : come with me or you go home. He went home and my sis was not happy.
So after taking him home, my little man and myself went off to church. He was excited as I have told him he can read the gospel this week. We went into church, all the usual things then father invites all the children to go into little mass. There are two groups 0-6 and 7-10 not set in stone.
We all go in. I go into my room, my little man following, and how many other kids ?
One. I had prepared enough work for 25. We ended up going into the older group and I just sat and listened. Never mind. My little man still got to read the gospel.

Well no pressure on me then. As I have said before there are lots of sites I have been to lately but I keep going back to the same ones I have not commented on lots but one I have is BillyWorld. Billy has told people to come to my site (how scary is that). Not that I have anything to hide, its just "Wow - its real now". Thank you Billy - I think.

Well he's here! Not even two hours have gone and I want him to go home. Is that really bad? First thing they did was to go upstairs and check out the bedroom, few minutes later all I could hear was yells, shouts, whoops and loud thud thud thud. They were seeing who could throw action Man the furthest. As you do.

I love Fridays - no packed lunch to make, no uniform to sort. Just sort kitchen and have some quality time with hubby.
I have been either very brave or very stupid in that I have said my nephew can sleep tomorrow night. He will come around lunch time tomorrow and go home after lunch on Sunday. He is used to getting his own way at home - he's in for a shock here.
With the help of a good friend my comments are sorted. I never really began this so that other people could see it, it was just for me but I have been going to lots of different sites the last few days and two people have commented on mine and in a strange way it feels nice.
I think the next thing I will try is putting some of the sites I go to often in the links(I will have to have a good read through the help pages).

Since I have no computer skills as such I think I have done quite well with my blog. Although I think I have messed up the comments, but will look at the help pages to sort it.
Last night my eldest asked if he could play out (I really hate him going out) as I feel he's too young. Its hard to find the right balance - I know I have to let go a bit but when I look at the other children (this may sound snobbish) I dont want him playing with them.
I wish they could never grow up.

A lot of things have happened to me (health wise)over the past few months.It has really made me sit up and think I need to change my life I do no exercise at all,well that is about to change.I may be being to ambisious but I have just entered The race for life.So I will be going the gym with a freind and trying to make a difference.Every little bit helps.Good luck to me.

The two weeks off were great,done lots of great things with the kids such as Gullivers world,local park,Circus,Bowling and the Easter party.The party was great,Hubby had little one myself and eldest got to party about 1ish other kids arrived around 2.We got home 7.30 what a day.Lots of shouting, games,fights including my little angel getting a slight black eye.My easter egg hunt (the one I found out that I was doing when I arrived)went really well.I am thinking of becoming a childs party planner.
Work is getting worse I am finding it harder to find the motivation each day.I work with children who have different degrees of hearing lose I should work both one to one and with groups of children,but as with all jobs my role has really changed and I am working with children with server learning and BEHAVIOUR problems.I am finding the behaviour side of things hard work.I am looking for a new job

I finished work last Friday for two weeks holiday,boy is it needed.Lately I am finding work very stressful, I suppose thats what comes of being sworn at all the time,plus the unpridictability of woundering what mood your "clients"will be in.
On a more positive note I have two weeks off with my wounderful children most parents nightmere I know but not mine.We have not got much planned just nice to be able to spend time together and play,saying that we are going to an Easter party tomorrow then the circus next week. I have been asked to help out at the party tomorrow it should be fun 10 little monsters aged between 5 and 6.

Thu Feb 26, 11:35:28 AM | Paper Doll | edit ]
When I first started this I thought I would update it every day.I surpose its a mixture of the limited time I get and just lack of interest.
I have been looking around at lots of very different Blogs. Most of the people are mad.It made me think how easy it is for kids to be sucked into beliving that Paul is a 14 year old who loves football and not at all 43 year old Less with a police record for indicent assault.Yes its easy to say its the parents fault for letting them go on the computer, but there is only so much you can do .You have to trust that all your hard work and advice you have given to your children will be enough to help them make the right choices.Its easier said than done for I am the worlds worse at not being able to let them grow up and learn from there own mistakes.I know I would not like to be young in todays world.

What a morning.
Whilst driving to work today I had a blow out,oh my god. The car had sounded alittle loud and felt strange so I kept my speed down and stayed in the slow lane just in case.The car began to shake then there was a loud bang the car swirved and i very calmly pulled over as quick as I could. I sat in the car for a while numb and petrified ,I think it was just the shock of what could have happened.
Eventually the RAC came to the rescue and sorted my car out,I carried on to work as normal.It dosnt bear thinking what could of happend but life just carries on.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Thought I better write something,its been so long since I have.But now is not the time,I will be back later.